I’ve begun writing fan fiction in my head as I watch these final episodes of Hostages . Like, what if, when this is all over, Ellen’s husband, Brian, and Duncan’s wife, Nina, ran away together? They do appear to be the only rational people on the show.
But before I get to writing down my “Bri-nina” novella, let’s run down the most outrageous things that happened in “Fight or Flight” in order of preposterousness:
• Nina called her father from a pay phone to tell him she is taking Sawyer and not coming back. Where did Nina call him from? 1995?
• Ellen goes to the First Lady with her faux diagnosis that the President’s blood showed a genetic marker for early onset dementia. In what world does a doctor not give the patient a diagnosis directly? Why would the First Lady fall for this?
• Brian and Morgan meet a man who is going to help them assume new identities and disappear. A few weeks ago, they were locked up in the bedroom when no one was available to monitor them. Now they are able to roam freely? I know Duncan is in on the plan not to actually kill the President. But still?
• Sawyer is the best-behaved child ever. She does exactly as she is told, plays quietly by herself, and accepts everything the adults in her world tell her. My daughter grills me about why she has to put her shoes on.
• Morgan is worried about assuming a new identity because she just got into college. Perhaps Morgan has forgotten that she is pregnant. That may impact her ability to move into a dorm, don’t you think?
This was the penultimate episode before the two-hour finale on January 6. (Of note, CBS is optimistically calling it the “season” and not “series” finale.) The series is pushing ahead on all fronts. Nina tells Duncan and her father that they are both “insane” and decides to go the police. Duncan promptly locks her in a bedroom. I guess love means never having to say, “Sorry I tried to kill the president for you.”
Duncan and Ellen agree that she won’t kill the president, but she will get the president’s bone marrow and give it the Duncan (hence Ellen’s lie to the First Lady). Duncan, Ellen, Brian and Jake concoct a plan where it looks like Duncan has killed Jake. On another show, there might have been some suspense that Jake was actually dead, but not on this show.
Duncan is also aware that Sandrine is in on the plot to have them killed, and Archer discovers the car bombs in the garage. Perhaps Sandrine isn’t going to do what she promised Logan. That girl is totally a love-the-one-you’re-with kind of gal. Her allegiances seem to switch by the minute.
Colonel Blair discovers that Vanessa is plotting against him and that she actually hopes to be the vice president one day. “You’re a clever woman Vanessa, but the game isn’t over,” he tells her. The episode ends with Blair stopping Nina from getting on plane.
As this disappointing series winds down, almost everyone involved deserves a lump of coal in their stocking. Enjoy the holiday break from Hostages.