The 11 Best Quotes on TV This Month

Each month, our trusty cadre of staff and contributors scour the TV landscape determined to find the month’s best quotes, leaving no network, cable or streaming show unturned. As the month of love and awards shows comes to a close, we’ve sorted through all the TV February had to offer to come up with our 12 favorite quotes of the month.
And remember, if you hear a great TV quote, write me at [email protected] or tweet me at @AmyTVGal and you just might see your suggestion here next month.

Doom Patrol
“Critics, what do they know? They’re gonna hate this show.” Mr. Nobody (Alan Tudyk) doing Deadpool better than Deadpool as he narrates “Pilot.”

The Umbrella Academy
“You just Patrick Swayze’d me” Klaus (Robert Sheehan) when the spirit of his dead brother Ben (Justin H. Min) smacks him in “Changes” (Episode 1.09).

Black Monday
“Everything works on a sitcom. There’s two different TV shows with little black midgets playing white peoples’ kids.” Dawn (Regina Hall) to Mo (Don Cheadle) in “295” (Episode 1.04).

Brooklyn Nine-Nine
“Did you see his tie? A single Windsor. The easiest knot to undo. Why bother wearing any clothes at all?” Captain Holt (Andre Braugher) to Jake (Andy Samberg) when he thinks a spy has been brought into the office to seduce him in “The Honey Pot” (Episode 6.07).

Russian Doll
“Why don’t we sit crooked and talk straight?” Ruth (Elizabeth Ashley) to Nadia (Natasha Lyonne) in “Nothing in This World is Easy” (Episode 1.01).

This Is Us
“I want to be the little girl who dances again.” Beth (Susan Kelechi Watson) to her mom (Phylicia Rashad) in “Our Little Island Girl” (Season 3.13).

Better Things
“Wait! I want my big life This Is Us milestone moment goodbye hug! C’mon! This is us! Let’s go!” Sam Fox (Pamela Adlon) to her eldest daughter, Max (Mikey Madison), as she drops her off at college in “Chicago” (Episode 3.01)

Whiskey Cavalier
“I have my feelings. My feelings don’t have me.” Will Chase (Scott Foley) in “Pilot.”

Andi Mack
“That, of course, is Aunt Ruthie’s kugel… that’s your classic bagel and lox… that’s gefilte fish, skip that… and I’m gay.” Cyrus (Josh Goodman) giving Jonah (Asher Angel) a tour of the buffet at his Bubbie’s shiva.

“Yeah? K, cool.” Jonah’s response in the groundbreaking episode, “One in a Minyan” (Episode 3.11).

One Day at a Time
“$300 for one pair of shoes? They better come with $280 stuffed in them.” Penelope (Justina Machado) to her son, Alex (Marcel Ruiz), when he wants the new pair of Yeezy sneakers in “The First Time” (Episode 3.07).

The 91st Academy Awards
“Just a quick update for everybody in case you’re confused. There is no host tonight, there won’t be a popular movie category, and Mexico is not paying for the wall.” Maya Rudolph, opening up the host-less Oscars ceremony.