Late Night Last Week: Taylor Tomlinson Tackles the Hawk Tuah Girl

Yes, the viral sensation, whose real name is Haliey Welch, has gotten so famous that not only is she the featured segment of a late night show, but she has been invited on stage by country star Zach Bryan and rumor has it a reality show starring her family may be in the works. The internet is a beautiful thing. On After Midnight, Tomlinson and her guests speculated on what might be next in store for the Hawk Tuah Girl—honestly, the suggestions are pretty good.

Martha Stewart Makes A Raspberry And Cotton Candy Dessert on Colbert

I’ve been on a bit of a raspberry kick lately. Not the berries (their texture kinda freaks me out), but the flavor. If I can get a little raspberry in there, I’m going for it. So you better believe I watched Martha Stewart teach Stephen Colbert how to make a new raspberry and cotton candy dessert. The dessert is now available at Stewart’s restaurant in Las Vegas, one of the few places in the world I love more than raspberry-flavored stuff.

Anyway, on The Late Show, Stewart made a “coulis,” which, for the uninformed (no longer me), is a “form of thin sauce made from puréed and strained vegetables or fruits.” Thank you, Wikipedia. Colbert and Stewart had some great banter—and got a bit too familiar with each other and the raspberries at one moment. Worth a watch, especially for the lactose intolerant like myself.

Kenan Thompson Reprises Pernice Lafonk

The great Kenan Thompson returned to Late Night with Seth Meyers to take a trip down Saturday Night Live memory lane and discuss his upcoming commentary for the Olympics. Meyers and Thompson remembered filming a sketch about the Black Eyed Peas after a particularly eventful night out partying. Coping with the pain led Thompson to develop a bit where he talked to his previous self, “Shoulda Kenan,” who gets a call from “Crazy Kenan.”  

The theme of alter egos continued when Thompson told Meyers that he, in fact, had a friend backstage. Thompson exited stage left and in his place came science fiction writer Pernice Lafonk. We got a chance to hear Lafonk read an excerpt from his latest book, The Scorpion Quasar. Meyers wondered if the book is from the writer’s vast archive. “Correctamundo, Sethly,” he replied. Few captivate an audience better than the celebrated author, who, per the advice of lawyers, made it clear he wrote this tale long before Star Wars.

Kumail Nanjiani Comes Out For Ranch Dressing

As we mentioned in our round-up of Biden jokes last week, Jimmy Kimmel’s vacation continued following the Fourth of July break. In his stead were Kathryn Hahn and then later in the week Kumail Nanjiani, who was quick to note that he was hosting the same night as the ESPYs, an event he “literally knows nothing about.” And for good reason: they neglected his favorite sport, cricket. Nanjiani did his best to sell the audience on the sport, going on to name all the lingo that “sounds like it could be a sex act.” This includes “The Corridor of Uncertainty.” 

In such extra politically tense times, both Hahn and Nanjiani performed well in the role of guest host, but that does not come without its challenges. “I feel like right now I could come out in favor of ranch dressing,” Nanjiani said, “and it would still end my career.” Well, as someone who does not really like ranch dressing, I am officially calling for that. Resign, sir. Less ranch, more things that taste like raspberries but aren’t actually raspberries.