The Funniest Tweets of the Week

Yo, so have you all been watching the CW’s Legends of Tomorrow? I watched the first two seasons, and they were fine enough, I guess; typical time travel fare starring C-level DC characters all with their own quirky charisma. They’re on season 4 now, and I guess it’s evolved into a show about hyper-intelligent gorillas going back in time to kidnap our first black president? I think I’ve got to give it another shot now. Also, that thing pictured above made an appearance at their Comic-con panel, and I really hope it’s a villain or something.

Anyway, here are my favorite Tweets from last week.

a group of three or more lgbtq people is a space

— jaboukie (@jaboukie) December 1, 2018

rappers always say..”I dnt wish death” or “I dnt wish jail” on my worse enemy..well what da fuck is the point in having a worse enemy then honey chile??…what you gonna wish on them??..”Man I hope this nigga pull a calf muscle”

— Trevor Joyner (@lolTrev) November 28, 2018

trying to sell merch after you bombed: https://t.co/NqIbX6yeEx

— Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) December 2, 2018

Have barely even had a boyfriend and yet here I am at the mitski concert, weeping over my ex-husband

— Rachel Sennott (@Rachel_Sennott) December 3, 2018

how can I believe in The Bible when there were literally zero women in the writer’s room

— Sarah Pappalardo (@yourpappalardo) December 3, 2018

Cam’ron literally told ya’ll he went to war with old Timbs, battered boots,
a hand grenade, goggles and a parachute. https://t.co/RsQLNK3fku

— Rebecca (@rebeccaisdope) November 28, 2018

I’m not joking that my son, of his own volition, says “apocalypse”

— Chelsea Peretti (@chelseaperetti) December 2, 2018

every college football coach was born as a fully formed 53 year old named Skip Fudgely. those guys are weirdos, keep em away from me

— as a filmmaker myself, (@ByYourLogic) December 2, 2018

so called “PC” culture has ruined entertainment. can u imagine beloved character “Racism Man” existing today? surely not. theyd have to change his name to “Avocados Man”

— DVS (@DVSblast) December 2, 2018

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• The Funniest Tweets of the Week
• The Funniest Tweets of the Week

It would be funny if one month Trump just got really into astrology and kept bringing it up at his rallies and on the news and shit

— Jake Flores (@feraljokes) December 3, 2018

CW DC shows year 1: semi-realistic vigilante show about a man on a deserted island who hones his survival skills

CW DC shows year 6: space heroes stop a time-traveling gorilla with mind controlling powers from killing barack obama pic.twitter.com/yrc0ydkm4v

— ?desp? (@bigracks) December 3, 2018

CW DC shows year 1: semi-realistic vigilante show about a man on a deserted island who hones his survival skills

CW DC shows year 6: space heroes stop a time-traveling gorilla with mind controlling powers from killing barack obama pic.twitter.com/yrc0ydkm4v

— ?desp? (@bigracks) December 3, 2018

i keep laughing imagining a guy at the grocery store not paying attention and accidentally buying something called “macaroni or cheese” and it’s just a box with a 50/50 chance of having noodles or a brick of cheese in it

— Churlish (@Cryptoterra) November 28, 2018

what could it mean pic.twitter.com/4brilV0uIB

— bald internet man (@baldinternetman) November 29, 2018

when the edible kicks in at the trader joes produce area pic.twitter.com/k1czCwgQOt

— greg (1993 mangavideo dub) (@jetgreguar) December 2, 2018

All single dudes have a tiny trashcan like 3 ft from their bed that is filled to the brim with weed stems and jizz. why is this ok with everyone

— Joe tullar (@joetullar123456) December 2, 2018

Just finished my movie script about a guy who jerks off at the river every day and dies after eating clams from a lead can

— Conner O’Malley (@conner_omalley) December 1, 2018

Every white dude made a rap song with his friends in a basement in 2008 that would ruin his life if reavealed today

— Krispy Scream (@mitchysuch) December 1, 2018

Netflix Christmas specials feel like they were written by AI trying to mimic human emotion

— hannah williamson (@hannahmcnoface) December 2, 2018

my mom gave me the photo of me dressed as a house slave for Christmas ive been asking 3 years for this picture i cant stop laughing we’re so happy so naive pic.twitter.com/NhGyKReXS9

— jovanda bynes (@jovanhiII) December 2, 2018

can anyone help me read my birth chart pic.twitter.com/K4bDsEeeEo

— Kate Henning (@takehenning) December 2, 2018

“you still eat Scooby-Doo gummies?”

me: pic.twitter.com/6MciCHksdj

— Bruh Report (@BruhReport) December 3, 2018