I Can Hardly Remember Anything: Weekend at 10

“I can hardly remember anything,” Russell (Tom Cullen) stammers, Glen (Chris New) brandishing a tape recorder in his face. If ever there were a post-coital confrontation, it’s this. Not some Albee-esque argument about the corrosion beneath domestic bliss or the Bergmanesque, bleakly animated gape of a screaming silence from God, but a morning after undressing of the self. If Russell, who is more reticent about his identity, intended for this little hookup to be an escape—and who among us?—Glen, an artist provoking the boundaries of exactly what Russell fears, had other plans. “Just talk about last night. You know, what happened, what you wanted to happen,” Glen instructs. Dive into the memory of what you wanted and what happened and find the space in-between, where a part of yourself, fragile and strange and budding, may exist. Remember what could have been while it was happening. Filmmaker Andrew Haigh doesn’t dwell on the recorder, just on the words, the cobbled-together memories.
In 2011, when Haigh’s Weekend premiered at SXSW, it was still relatively novel for someone to reveal those parts of themselves publicly, art project or otherwise. Almost as exotic was a film about gay men that embedded sex seriously in their lives, shorn of a jokey crassness and stripped of the tragedy that not infrequently dogged such stories. Haigh’s film, without condescending to its gay audience or pandering to its straight one, could meditate on both gazes, making Glen’s proclamations about the kind of gay art that would garner an audience, particularly regarding the kinds of subjects people would engage with, emerge as meta-commentary. Weekend could be both a film about those confessions and emotional excavations while itself being a confession and excavation.
Playwright Tony Kushner wrote that, in sex, you’ll “swallow maybe a quart of someone’s spit.” But what else, besides the bodily fluids, are you drinking? Glen’s art project, which investigates the projections we make about ourselves and others before and during casual sex, is the opposite of escape; rather, it’s a direct encounter with as much yourself as the other person, and a dare to see how well you know yourself after all. Your wants and desires and fears. Your past and future. Your politics.
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