12 Horror Movies about Killer Inanimate Objects

Perusing the scant slate of recent horror films that have been hitting North American theaters in limited release (thanks to the pandemic), my eyes fell upon the following title the other day: Slaxx.
That title created a burst of recognition—a memory that I had first read about this movie at the beginning of 2019. Wasn’t this the one about the killer pair of blue jeans?
Turns out: Yep. It’s been a bit of a long road, but Slaxx, from director Elza Kephart, was just released in a limited capacity in Canadian theaters after making its debut as part of the 2020 Fantasia International Film Festival. It is indeed about a living, possessed pair of blue jeans that murders people, meaning that Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants references are obviously inescapable. In fact, the first trailer for Slaxx is even sillier than I was expecting, taking the premise quite literally—yep, that’s a pair of jeans dancing around and strangling folks. Observe.
It’s a proudly schlocky entry in a surprisingly prolific but niche horror subgenre: the “inanimate objects come to life and kill people” genre. These films have been around for quite a while—since the 1970s at least—and are clearly still with us today, in guises both humble and highbrow. In fact, our #1 horror film of 2019 qualifies in this niche genre as well: In Fabric is about (at least tangentially) a haunted dress that destroys people’s lives.
Seeing Slaxx come along, then, got me to wondering: How many other of these killer inanimate object movies are there? What about when we remove the plethora of living doll films, which include many entries such as Child’s Play, Small Soldiers, Magic, Dolly Dearest and others? Those films, and all the other horror flicks about objects made in a human image (dummies, mannequins, etc) coming to life, are practically their own subgenre, and using them here feels like cheating. What happens when we focus instead on the stranger examples of murderous inanimate objects in film? We’re talking killer beds, killer fridges, killer lamps and more. That’s when things get really absurd.
So in honor of Slaxx, here’s a dozen more films about inanimate objects that come to life and murder people, presented in chronological order.
1. Killdozer! (Jerry London, 1974)
A classic example of “exactly what it sounds like,” Killdozer! is a TV movie about a bulldozer that kills. That pretty much wraps up the synopsis, honestly—oh, you want more details? Well, it’s actually a bulldozer possessed by a mysterious alien force of some kind, which fell to Earth in a meteor in time immemorial. Let’s hope that the joy of piloting a bulldozer around and menacing 1970s TV stars was worth the wait for that alien entity. The film is a total dud, and is somehow even less compelling than the grainy trailer below would indicate, but if you really feel like this is something you need to seek out, the entire film has been uploaded to YouTube in shockingly high quality. Who took the time to do this, we may never know. Note: This film has nothing at all to do with the so-called “Killdozer rampage” of Colorado resident Marvin Heemeyer, who drove a similarly outfitted bulldozer on a path of destruction through the small town of Granby, Colo., in 2004.
2. Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (George Berry, 1977)
Patton Oswalt immortalized Death Bed with an uproarious four-minute piece of stand-up during his second album, forever catapulting this terrible movie into horror film infamy—which is reason enough that you should really watch it at least once. The subtitle isn’t The Bed That Eats People as Oswalt believed; instead it’s the genuinely stupider and more vague The Bed That Eats. Although I suppose it is at least accurate, given that the evil, demon-possessed bed doesn’t only eat human beings, and instead absorbs just about anything placed upon it. There are a few amusing gags, such as the scene where the Death Bed actually gets indigestion before consuming a bottle of Pepto Bismol, but the majority is still a dull, ugly ’70s horror flick with zero budget. Watch it for the Death Bed, get your chuckles and get out.
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