Father John Misty is the Best Kind of Asshole
When we say the word “asshole,” we’re generally describing someone who is cruel to others in a purposeful way, lacks empathy, and engages in damaging, anti-social behavior.
In my world, though, there’s a second meaning, and it contains a grudging kind of admiration. I first learned this alternate definition of “asshole” from my family, but I’ve also cultivated a friend group that deploys it with regularity. In fact, the common negative usage of “asshole” has been replaced in our vernacular with words like “dick” and “douchebag” and “fuckface.” (“Fuckface” isn’t that common, to be honest, but I’m doing my best to bring it back.) When we say “asshole,” we’re using the positive secondary form, which I would define as:
(noun) Intelligent and subversive, with an open disdain for hypocrisy and posturing, and a willingness to expose these qualities in a manner both public and theatrical, without concern for the possible humiliation of the target who, to the asshole, is beneath contempt.
As an example of each type of asshole, take Donald Trump. If you believe he’s sincere in the beliefs he espouses, he’s the first kind of asshole. If you believe he’s a deep-cover performance artist engaging in guerrilla psychological warfare with the goal of undermining the Republican party in service of its eventual collapse, he’s the second kind of asshole.
Thesis statement: Father John Misty, along with being an extremely talented musician, is a quintessential Type Two Asshole.
In June 2013, I wrote a feature that originally appeared on Paste.com about experiencing a Father John Misty concert in Chapel Hill, NC. I’ve never had a more stimulating time at a live show, and it went deeper than the music. It seems like bad form to quote myself, so I’ll just give you the cliff notes and encourage you to read the source material if you’re interested.
CLIFF NOTES:
1. Tillman pranced and kicked and sashayed and emoted his way across the stage all night, in a flat-out performance that felt strange and invigorating, and that went beyond irony.
2. He baited and antagonized the audience all night in ways I found hysterical, but which led certain offended concert-goers to consider demanding a refund. Others, mostly but not exclusively of the female persuasion, proclaimed their sexual attraction to Tillman. I couldn’t stop calling him a badass, which is probably the straight male version of that same attraction.
3. No matter what the rest of his body was doing, or what his mouth was saying, his eyes maintained that dead, thousand-mile stare, emotionless and hostile and vulnerable, like an indie rock Galifianakis.
4. Fuck it, I’m going to quote myself: “However we reacted when the lights came up, in awe or in anger, we knew Tillman had given us an overflowing cup of his own reckless humanity. This was performance art that transcended the music; an act of generosity, gift-wrapped in subversion and defiance.”
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