The Funniest Tweets About Paul Ryan’s Retirement

Paul Ryan, the GOP’s number one budget boy, is ending his Randian-fueled tenure at the Capitol, leaving a contradictory legacy and a ballooning deficit in his wake. His exit will end a 20-year run in the House, during which he fought nobly for rich people tax cuts and safety net destruction. While he still has some time left before he turns in his gavel, many took to Twitter to offer the House Speaker a wave of much-deserved well wishes months ahead of his exit. Enjoy!

Retirement should provide Paul Ryan with enough time, finally, to come up with the awesome Obamacare replacement he’s been promising since 2010.

— Jeffrey Young (@JeffYoung) April 11, 2018

Paul Ryan’s retirement gift will be a gold watch that a middle class family had to sell in order to pay their mortgage

— Ben Wexler (@mrbenwexler) April 12, 2018

Perhaps Paul Ryan will be reunited with his spine during retirement

— Edward Hardy (@EdwardTHardy) April 11, 2018

Live shot of Paul Ryan leaving Washington, D.C. today after announcing his retirement. pic.twitter.com/yHaK1Hkx9x

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— Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) April 11, 2018

Heard Paul Ryan is looking for a new gig? We have a Roadie position open – doesn’t come with Healthcare though …

— Papa Roach (@paparoach) April 11, 2018

Good luck to Paul Ryan on his next endeavor: Making the underwater city from Bioshock a reality.

— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) April 11, 2018

I’ve tried and tried and this is the best I can do: Paul Ryan sucks.

— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) April 11, 2018

Thanks for saying this Ana. I have always felt the same way about Adolf Eichmann… he was such a good, compassionate Nazi. https://t.co/V9gntdHdx5

— Jena Friedman (@JenaFriedman) April 11, 2018

In honor of the House Speaker’s decision not to seek reelection, #LSSC presents this look back at Paul Ryan’s most courageous stances. #PaulRyan#Couragepic.twitter.com/mLPkMp5L0o

— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) April 11, 2018

Hey @SpeakerRyan, congratulations on retiring at 48. Thanks to the GOP tax bill, the rest of us can retire at checks notes 100 years after we die? pic.twitter.com/7ztJcMshDx

— Full Frontal (@FullFrontalSamB) April 11, 2018

Pour out a little protein shake for Paul Ryan. Just like his deficit, someone else is gonna have to clean it up. pic.twitter.com/AZR6jSv4fw

— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) April 12, 2018

Hope Paul Ryan remembers to wipe down his congressional seat after he’s done using it. #paulryan#GOPpic.twitter.com/9rgUY6hYtR

— Weekly Humorist (@WeeklyHumorist) April 12, 2018

I was going to make a joke about Paul Ryan quitting but I don’t care enough put in the effort to get the job done. Just like him.

— Marc Hershon (@hershco) April 12, 2018

If Paul Ryan did grow a spine, he’d only use it to trip the poor.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 12, 2018

Paul Ryan departs on a bathysphere halfway through his plan to build a conservative utopia underwater, leaves us no guidance for what to do about the splicers. That’s not leadership.

— Jon Lovett (@jonlovett) April 11, 2018

Paul Ryan goes out on top https://t.co/russf0l5VI

— Jon Favreau (@jonfavs) April 11, 2018