The Funniest #HimToo Tweets Inspired By a Very Embarrassing Mom
Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty
Buckle up, my friends, for another wild ride on the Twitter Meme Express. This is a particularly hilarious one, and it all started with this now-deleted tweet:
Everything about that is funny, from the weird conservative paranoia to the godawful hashtag to the picture itself, which looks more like someone starring in a musical about the navy and an actual U.S. Navy vet. As you can imagine, it quickly attracted the attention of the Twitter wolves. It’s difficult to trace exactly how poor Marla’s tweet became meme-ified, but it seems like Twitter legend Krang T. Nelson had something to do with it:
this is the perfect post. nobody will ever top it https://t.co/lbNxdudiGe
— KT NELSON (@KrangTNelson) October 8, 2018
Marla I would love to introduce your son to my adult daughter merbitha. she respects the troops and hates socialism, and i would like her out of my house
— KT NELSON (@KrangTNelson) October 8, 2018
For a while, Marla responded to the tweets before deleting them all and then her account. But it was way too late—Twitter was off to the races. Enjoy this collection of #HimToo memes that truly brightened our Mondays:
This is MY son. He singlehandedly runs a small hotel. He’s a homeowner. He knows a boy’s best friend is his mother. He goes a little mad sometimes. He won’t go on solo dates due to the current climate of false accusations by radical anti-shower-stabbing feminists. I VOTE. #HimToopic.twitter.com/qSYY7Cy46E
— Night of the Living Marble (@living_marble) October 8, 2018
This is MY son. He graduated #1 from the University of Flavortown. He was awarded three banging fajita poppers. He was #1 in flamin’ hot crunch. He won’t go on solo dates due to the current climate of false accusations of taking the last slice of pizza. I VOTE. #HimToopic.twitter.com/4DY151a2W7
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) October 9, 2018
This is my son. He is a gentleman who treats ladies with respect. He’s afraid to date right now because of the current climate. Seriously, because of the actual climate his future kids won’t be able to survive. I vote. #HimToopic.twitter.com/pxefN68aNZ
— Luna Malbroux (@LunaisAmerica) October 9, 2018
This is MY son. He graduated #1 in sewing class. He was awarded the Insect Identification Badge. He is a gentleman who respects curvy women. He won’t go on solo dates due to the current climate of false sexual accusations by radical feminists who don’t moisturize. I VOTE #HimToopic.twitter.com/roylzrcM9X
— Zelda Zonk (@tikibetty) October 8, 2018
This is My son. He graduated #1 in his class at Nazareth High. He is a gentleman who loves women and respects virgins like his mother. He is afraid to go on solo dates with women because he is afraid they will lie and say he made them wash his feet.
That, plus he’s gay.#HimToopic.twitter.com/sMR88fggAQ— God (@TheTweetOfGod) October 9, 2018
This is MY son. He graduated #1 in army camp. He was awarded the Marksmanship and sand racing award. He was #1 in A school. He is a gentleman who respects Mother. He won’t go on solo dates because he loves his Mother. I VOTE. #HimToopic.twitter.com/9gKhz8tVpk
— The HAM lawyer (@thehamlawyer) October 8, 2018
This is MY son. He graduated #1 from the school of hard knocks. He lives in a plastic bubble because he has a rare disease. He won’t go on dates with women (whom he respects as much as plastic) due to the bubble and also almost certainly being gay. I VOTE. #HimToopic.twitter.com/0HFwezp4FC
— Gladstone (@WGladstone) October 8, 2018
I’m sorry but I had to do this pic.twitter.com/RMoS8iV5fR
— KT NELSON (@KrangTNelson) October 9, 2018
This is my son. He’s afraid to be alone with a woman in this current…well, in any climate really. #HimToopic.twitter.com/1l5NrDok13
— T.R. Morley (@TheRealMorley) October 8, 2018
This is MY son. He is a writer, but sort of a dull boy, and is staying at a hotel in winter. Despite being sober, he won’t bring any solo dates due to the current climate of false sexual accusations by bat-weilding feminists…however, he’s the one with an axe to grind. #himtoopic.twitter.com/MUgEcU88Nj
— the mediocre gatsby (@OliviaLewis22) October 8, 2018
This is MY son. He graduated #1 in boot camp. He was awarded the USO award. He was #1 in A school. He is a gentleman who respects women. He won’t go on solo dates due to the current climate of false sexual accusations by radical feminists with an axe to grind. I VOTE. #HimToopic.twitter.com/XBWVGYKKOE
— Spook Scary (@stephperry) October 8, 2018
This is MY son. He graduated #1 in boot camp. He was awarded the USO award. He was #1 in A school. He is a gentleman who respects women. He won’t go on solo dates due to the current climate of false sexual accusations by radical feminists with an axe to grind. I VOTE. #HimToopic.twitter.com/FNQeJshtJV
— Nicghoul Clark (@nicalexiac) October 8, 2018
This is MY sun. He graduated #1 in THE SOLAR SYSTEM. He is a star who respects planets. He won’t go on solo orbits because his gravitational pull is so strong that one day he will explode! I VOTE. #HimToopic.twitter.com/FXe5ipyOSM
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) October 9, 2018
This is my son. He was #1 on the charts. He won’t go on solo dates even though he never gave up, let you down, run around, or deserted you, make you cry, say goodbye, tell a lie nor hurt you #HimToopic.twitter.com/Q5sMpGIVR3
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) October 8, 2018
This is MY son. He graduated #1 in boot camp. He is the strongest Avenger. He broke Harlem. I VOTE. #HimToopic.twitter.com/AOaYJlL6TT
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle) October 8, 2018
This is my son. I’m currently chained to the water heater in his basement. Send help. #HimToopic.twitter.com/Uq4TqOM2hf
— Working Class Hero (@spider_ramone) October 9, 2018
THIS IS MY SON HE WONT GO ON DATES WITH WOMEN BECAUSE WAIT BLOODY HELL THIS IS ANNE OF CLEVES! HOW DO I DELETE THIS?! #HimToopic.twitter.com/cUhBmg96Rt
— Henry Tudor (@KngHnryVIII) October 8, 2018
This is MY son. Whatever you’re accusing him of, he probably did it. He’s not a very good boy. #HimToopic.twitter.com/KCl4Slp8z4
— Rebecca Cohen NYCC Nomad (@GynoStar) October 9, 2018
This is MY son. He graduated #1 from science camp. He built a teleporter. He is a gentle brundlefly who respects human women. He won’t go on dates due to the current climate of false sexual accusations by radical feminists with a swatter to grind. I VOTE. #HimToopic.twitter.com/srFrY9uuZw
— Night of the Living Marble (@living_marble) October 8, 2018
this is my son. he is actually a girl but i wanted a boy so i named him tommy but spelled it tomi because im clever. people also call him tawny, torry, and tumblweed. he won’t go on solo dates because he is afraid someone will throw water on him and he will melt. I VOTE #HimToopic.twitter.com/HXGEdJh7SU
— m i t h (@ManInTheHoody) October 9, 2018
This is my son. He finished #1 in the 1976 Leningrad judo championship and went on to devote his career to promoting law and order. He won’t go on solo dates anymore due to false accusations of dioxin, polonium, and Novichok poisoning. I vote; so do 113% of my friends. #HimToopic.twitter.com/1e5ofYTueQ
— Faith Hillis (@FaithCHillis) October 9, 2018
This is my son, processing his reaction to being told what his next trip to the vet will entail. He will no longer go on dates, because, well. #HimToopic.twitter.com/YNERn94mGP
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) October 8, 2018
This is MY son. He graduated #1 in boot camp. He was awarded the USO award. He was #1 in A school. He is a gentleman who respects women. He won’t go on solo dates due to the current climate of false sexual accusations by radical feminists with an axe to grind. I VOTE. #HimToopic.twitter.com/nujkA6qy8I
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) October 8, 2018
This is MY son. He is a world traveler and renowned author but will not approach women, even ones who do not have restraining orders, because he is afraid of false allegations and because he has developed a capiscum sensitivity #HimToopic.twitter.com/ifv0WE9w1K
— ImpartialConspiracyVictimHat (@Popehat) October 8, 2018
This is MY son. He graduated #1 in mime school. He was awarded the Best Lil’ Bible Boy award. He is a hero and a gentleman and definitely not a lizard person. He won’t go on solo dates and murders anyone he catches on solo dates. I VOTE FOR MY PRECIOUS ZODIAC SON. #HimToopic.twitter.com/33iME3X2hO
— Molly Hodgdon (@Manglewood) October 8, 2018
This is MY son. i found him in a cemetery eating bath salts. when i bring him with me to walmart the cashier doesn’t argue about my expired coupons. sometimes he hides thumbtacks in my shoes. He won’t go on solo dates because women find him sexually intimidating. I VOTE. #HimToopic.twitter.com/zXNnmXJRCz
— S. Esmerie is voting Nov 6th (@lizardwedding) October 8, 2018
This is MY son. He graduated #1 in boot camp. He was awarded the USO award. He was #1 in A school. He is a gentleman who respects women. He won’t go on solo dates due to the current climate of false sexual accusations by radical feminists with an axe to grind. I VOTE. #HimToopic.twitter.com/YWOQsNzBKm
— David Roth (@david_j_roth) October 8, 2018
Amazingly, this saga culminated with the appearance of the poor dude’s brother, and then the dude himself! And they managed to turn it around:
My brother is trending on twitter because of my moms ridiculous tweet. I’m a mixture of laughing hard and feeling bad for him. #HimToopic.twitter.com/YG93×9ikii
— Jon Hanson (@DancinJonHanson) October 9, 2018
That was my Mom. Sometimes the people we love do things that hurt us without realizing it. Let’s turn this around. I respect and #BelieveWomen . I never have and never will support #HimToo . I’m a proud Navy vet, Cat Dad and Ally. Also, Twitter, your meme game is on point. pic.twitter.com/yZFkEjyB6L
— Pieter Hanson (@Thatwasmymom) October 9, 2018
Twitter is a terrible, wonderful place.